Here its another New Year right around the bend. I posed to my son on Facebook a rhetorical question perhaps for him,
What will you accomplish in 2017?
I don’t think he will answer because I don’t think he knows what he will do or get done or be challenged by. My daughter has a more concrete plan but I think the question frustrates her too. I just don’t think either of them know what to expect, what to want, what to need, what others bring to them and what they would bring to others. I do have an idea perhaps from being on this earth for a set of years and seeing expectations shattered and new ones borne from the desperation and ashes of the earlier set. Here i no appreciable order are the things I want. Perhaps some take longer than a year and others require less but we all need the short list of things:
Continue to explore a daily diary. I think its a great self-expression to write down what I see as I move forward. The diary perhaps is a mile marker of life spent in no fast or slow lane. Just spent and recorded. The diary is the most personal of reflections where I lean into or out of the winds and flames of yesterday, today, tomorrow. There is no stopping it now.
Write this blog on a regular basis. This blog is the latest but truth be told I’ve written these things for over 10 years. I had my own domain which I quit to find a new thing and I wrote on Advogato before. This is something which I will keep for a few reasons. Writing is cathartic to me. It removes the constipation of life and lets me list out the technological, anthropological, social things which are highlights or low lifes.
Hit the road. At some point by the end of 2017 or into 2018, I will leave the United States behind. I’m old and I know that this will occur as sure as I wake up now and do work. I will lessen my material belongings to a point where everything is in a suitcase. The rule of four applies. You don’t need dozens of socks and underwear. You only need four. You need a bag that will fit in the overhead on any regional, national, or international flight. But the main thing is that between hitting the road and recording what I find, I will go. Where is a good question. The where is not so important as the going but I have a list of places to go live in for as long as my visas last. Cheap places that offer value to an old guy on the road that is not afraid of the movement. I’ll have stories to tell and this blog will subtly transform to that. I don’t expect to monetize it or sell it or write articles on solo traveling the world.
No more relationships with the opposite sex. I am not interested and I am no good at them. Something in me is broken after a number of failures and I’ve admitted that I simply cannot attend to the requirements and needs and expectations of another human being. Hell, I cannot even deal with my own. I just don’t understand anyone else and I think that’s okay. This leads to the next one…
Friendship is ever so more difficult and it won’t get easier. I don’t expect to become popular as a friend since I don’t think I’m good at that either. I’ve lost people and they’ve lost me and I just don’t care. Its the same expectation thing as with the opposite sex but it applies to how easily or difficult it is for me to make friends.
Finally, there is change. The change in how life does its cosmic dance and makes me see ends and beginnings of things. As an anthropologist once noted,
There is nothing so constant as change
And I can take the list and create the diary and write the blog and know that I am not good at the things which bind me to others. There are failures and successes. That’s what a new year is all about dear reader or two.