I left work and finished walking and came to the conclusion I am tired. I am tired of the expensive Bay area, the job, the staying in one place and not seeing what’s beyond the next bend. When did I get so complacent that some fear like not having a magical $40k would stop me. Maybe I could not go to some whirlwind tour of Asia but this here United States of America is plenty big. Here’s the steps to the imaginary or maybe soon real trip:
- Give away everything. I do mean everything. All the clothing and doodads and the few pieces of furniture and the TV and the extra chromebook. Give away my nice bed and the towels and get down to a few boxes of favored possessions. Then put those somewhere at some friend’s. I don’t have a friend any more here I would ask and my ex-wife would definitely not accept.
- What to do about my nice car that has taken me to work every day? I would figure it out and store it somewhere for 6 months.
- Cancel every possible bill and streaming service and reduce the payments I owe to a minimum. Down go the costs for things.
- Quit the job. There’s some kind of evil joy in this. Walking in to our VP and telling him “I quit. There is no reason and nothing I hate. But there is less and less that I like too”. Then in two weeks or one day or whatever, I’d go.
- Buy an amtrak ticket to nowhere or to a place I have never been half way across this wonderful and rather strange country and savor the long brown twisting line of tracks and the delays and the waits and the arrivals and departures.
- Change my mailing address to /dev/null. Well, perhaps not /dev/null. But to some place where the mail would go and I would not.
So how much money do you need? Its not really about what you want to do without. Its about not being complacent and being a vessel. Its about being my own person and taking aim at a target I cannot see.
I have a feeling sooner rather than later this imaginary trip will come true for me. It will be this year. There is nothing to fear as a famous person said but fear itself. We all remain tied to things that have long leashes and the collar cuts our necks and leaves us wanting release. Our indomitable spirits are not meant for that. We are meant to wander. We are star stuff and made of the universal. A dash of light and darkness. Sunrise and set. Roads that rise to meet us and then leave us alone.
Then the blog would have more meaning too because suddenly my life would.